Yee-haw

Oh my word, yes I am still here! Alive but barely. Just came from the ER; have a nasty sinus thing and my doctor's office didn't return my call. I have an antibiotic thanks to a lovely ER doc who couldn't stand to see me suffer!

Things are still happening here. The boys are still with us. We have the last pre-trial coming up on the 31st. Their mom could plead guilty and then it wouldn't go to trial. It would just be up to the judge as to what would happen with the kids. If she takes it to trial it will be a few months yet before any decision is made at to her parental rights. Little C is most likely headed to his dad's soon. He has filed for custody and it looks as if it will be awarded to him. D will be staying with us as he has nowhere else to go. Now that he has settled in I love having him here. He has his moments (all kids do) but generally, he is a joy to behold!

The boys both ended up very, very sick. I stayed home with D that one day and the next day, Friday, he was 10 times worse. E took him to the doctor and it ended up being Influenza type A. He was so lethargic from the fever and feeling generally icky that he couldn't even get up to go potty. E ended up putting a diaper on him and bundling him up in blankets on the couch. By Sunday afternoon C was almost as bad. It is so hard to keep a 2 year old down though! He would lay down for awhile, get up to play and then start crying because he wanted to play but didn't feel good enough to play. It was a rough couple of weeks. E came down with it, too and I was slightly ill last weekend. This past Friday it moved into my sinuses. I dealt with it as long as I could until I got to the ER today.

That's it in a nutshell. E just called and said they were on their way home. The kids had their mommy visit tonight. She gave them slurpies and cotton candy and the boys were drinking their sister's Mountain Dew. Oh joy, oh rapture. They'll never sleep tonight. Yee-haw.

Home sweet home

I am home today with my boys. D is sick with a viral thing. At least I think it is viral. He is running a low-grade fever and has a cough but nothing else. He is sucking down the fluids but isn't hungry. His teacher said several kids have had the same thing this week.

I am home today because E is working and I didn't want to plop a sick little boy on my in-laws. Now, here is the part where I need you to pray for my soul. In order to take today off, I had to tell my boss that I was sick. She told me early in the game that my sick kiddos had to be watched my either my hubby or someone else and that I couldn't take time off for sick kids. Especially when our office was short staffed. One co-worker had her baby on the 1st and the other is being induced today. So yeah, our office is very short-staffed with only 4 people working today. I also missed a major loan meeting this morning. All I can say is oh, well! My boy needs me! Maybe my boss will actually get her butt out of her office and remember that she used to cover on the teller line when she was needed!


D is just feeling so poopy. He never just lays around. He got off the bus at my in-laws yesterday and headed straight for the couch. He barely touched his pretzels and cheese crackers and that is his favorite snack. My MIL knew something was wrong then! Last night he hardly ate any dinner because he was just so tired. I gave him some ibuprofen and cough medicine and put him in bed at 7. He slept good until about 2:30 and then he started coughing and asking for a drink of water. I gave him a drink, doctored him up again and he went right back to sleep. I gave him ibuprofen first thing this morning and he has perked up a bit. It's hard to keep a 4 year old down, especially when his 2 year old brother is feeling fine and full of energy!

So, pray for my soul for my white lie and pray that my little man feels better soon. Pray, too, that C doesn't get it!

My sacrifice

So today is Ash Wednesday. The beginning of the Lenten Season. As a child I was always in awe of the solemnity of Lent. The change in the liturgy and the music at Mass. The change is our household and in my grandparents household. The fasting, obstaining, sacrifice. It was always a time to reflect inward at the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and also a time to give more of one's self as a sacrifice as well.

This year I am not giving up anything for Lent. I will fast and obstain and spend more time in prayer and reflection. I will give more of myself to my husband and to the children in my home. I am not giving anything up for Lent because in a few months time, maybe less, I will be giving a part of myself up. I will be making a sacrifice that I never, ever thought I would need to make.

The title of my blog is some how, some way, some day for a reason. I always thought that I would be a mother. I didn't see any other way to live my life. Well, I need to see my future differently now. I need to see that some how, some way, some day I can be happy without children.

When C and D leave this home to go back to their mother or to their fathers or to some other relation I will no longer be a mother. I will be a former foster parent. And some how, some way, life will go on. And that will be my sacrifice.