Carrying on

It is amazing how quickly life goes right back to the normalcy of having children. We were just one week shy of being childless for three months and, while we enjoyed our little break, I am so glad to be a mommy again. Life is not all sunshine and gumdrops but our last case taught us so much and, while this little guy is giving us new challenges, things are going relatively smooth.

Little Man was severly neglected. I know he spent at least 48 hours on his own this last time while his mom was passed out intoxicated. This wasn't a new thing for him. In just over a year's time CPS has stepped in four times. The first time he stayed in the home and services were presented for the two of them. The next three times, which happened in the last twelve months, he was removed. He went to the same foster home during the first two removals but they are not a foster-to-adopt home like we are. That is why he came to us this past removal. It appears to all parties involved that his mother's rights will be permanently terminated.

This past weeke has been tough for him. He has said several times over the past 18 days that he misses his mom but this past week things have ramped up. Starting this past Wednesday he has been sad a lot. He pouts but he barely cries. He says he's sad because he misses his mom. It is heartbreaking. I've been told that when she was sober she was a great mom. She just couldn't beat the alcohol. I don't know if there was anything else going on but I know she drank heavily.

We just keep on carrying on here. A lot of love and attention and structure. That's all we can really do. He tries out patience like the other boys do but he is a lot different too. He feels like he is ours already. We see a great future for all three of us.

Additional Info...

We received the court documents in the mail today. Yes, already. The termination hearing is scheduled for May. I think they are serious about him not going back. I feel so bad for his mom but she is sick and needs help terribly.

Also, I forgot to mention that he is from almost 2 hours away. No chance of keeping him in the same school. I also don't think there will be any parent time from now until termination. There are some pretty serious circumstances regarding his removal that I cannot go into right now. Let's just say he is much safer now.

Good things happening

I have good news! We have another foster placement!! Even better for us, this one could be permanent. The petition for termination has already been filed.

He's been with us just a few days but all is going good. He is 4 years old and coming to us from a severe neglect situation. Someone has been working with him though, possibly at preschool. He's smart; knows his colors, shapes, ABC's and 123's and can even read a little. Four years old! He's 42 lbs and 42 inches tall. Wearing a 5T or boys 5/6. And, he's a green-eyed redhead! My own little ginger:)

He has never had a man in his life. Dad hasn't been in the picture and, apparently, Mom hasn't had boyfriends. Little Man spent the last couple days one on one with E. I went to work and E stayed home so they could bond and build trust. It seems to have been a good decision on our part.

Next week Little Man will start daycare with the same provider our first kids had. She is super excited to have us back. We chose daycare over my MIL this time since he really needs socialization. He's on the waiting list for preschool but after meeting the teacher yesterday she moved him to the top. She talked with him a little and she thinks he'll be able to start kindergarten in the fall. His attention span and focus needs work but our daycare can help with that too. She does focus activities and had a pretty strict schedule and routine. That's what he certainly needs!

Everything is falling into place perfectly, including the timing of the termination. His CW is pushing for termination ASAP (he's been removed 3 times) and she knows we want to adopt. She considers us a great match for him and he doesn't have other family stepping up. He is a real trooper but we have our work cut out for us. He's been on his own for too long and he has had no structure.He's pretty easily redirected and corrected but it is exhausting on our part. Hopefully we will see improvement daily.

I guess that's it for now! I'll keep you all posted as time goes on. My heart is torn because I know in order for us to adopt him another mother will be loosing him. I know it's in his best interest not to go back.