I am alive! (barely)

Yesterday was terrible, just terrible! And I am not being overly dramatic here. I cannot take drugs, they just mess me up! I haven't ate anything since Wednesday evening, did my prep all day Thursday and had my colonoscopy yesterday. Just now, at 6am Saturday morning, I kept some sprite and crackers down. I tell ya, those drugs messed me up!

The good news is that she didn't really find anything wrong. There is endo on my bowels, which I may need to get taken care of eventually, but nothing else. I had a lap in 2002 & 2003 where the doctor removed endo from my bowels but it has come back. My gyno will get the report from the internist and we'll go from there. I think if I need another surgery for the endo I'll just have a hysterectomy. Three surgeries for endo in 10 years is just too much. I'll try to keep my ovaries so I don't know completely menopausal but I cannot tolerate any more surgeries. I'll have to have it laproscopically since I can't take pain meds. I hate this! Why can't I just be normal?

The ambulatory staff was just awesome yesterday. It didn't hurt that my aunt was one of the RN's so I got awesome treatment. Extra blankets, rubbing my back while I puked, lunch for my MIL. They were wonderful!

I have to thank M for posting my prayer request! I felt it, girls, and I truly needed it! I'll post more when I'm feeling better.

This and that

I might actually be able to write a real post today since I have a total of 4 (yes that's a 4!) days off in a row!!Wowza! I took today off to prep for my colonoscopy tomorrow. Does that really count as 2 days off? Prep and procedure? I'll say yes because I have high hopes that it won't be a total wash.

I have had a couple sick boys. D has been sick for over a week with a cough and fever on and off and C started last Saturday with the same. It seemed like just a cold but because of their fevers we stayed home on Easter. E was working so it was just a quiet day with me and my boys. We were invited to my friend K's for brunch but I didn't want to expose her grand kids to anything my boys might have. We hung around the house and played with their Easter basket gifts and watched some cartoons and movies. Low-key, quiet day.

Monday I had to pick D up from school because he wouldn't stay awake. I took him to my MIL's and had to go back to work. E was guarding a jury trial so we couldn't take them to the doctor. After work E and I took them to the urgent care clinic at the hospital because they were still running fevers and C's cough was worse. They said D had the common cold but C had an ear infection. Again. So he got an antibiotic. D stayed home with my hubby on Tuesday but we sent him to school Wednesday. I get home last night and we had messages on the answering machine from the hospital's ER and from the doctor's office. The doctor's office wanted to know why we didn't take D in there since it wasn't an emergency situation and warned me that most likely the kids insurance won't pay a non-emergency visit. They didn't ask at all about C. Well, duh. Until doctor's offices are open 24 hours a day the clinic is the way we'll have to go! The message from the ER was asking us to call them. I called the ER (since they were open) and they said D had strep and the doctor was calling in a script. Huh. So it wasn't just the common cold. The rapid culture Monday night was negative but the other came back positive. I cannot wait to call the doctor's office today and tell that snooty nurse off. I am vindicated!

So I'll have both boys home until just after noon today. My MIL offered to watch them until E gets out of work so I won't be alone with them after the action starts. I have to take 4 Dulco.lax tablets at noon and then at 4 mix a 238g bottle of Myra.lax with 64oz of Gator.aid. I have to drink 8oz of the mix every 15 minutes until the mix is gone. I am obviously on a liquid diet all day today. I am enjoying one cup of coffee now and then I'll switch to clear liquids. Yee-haw. I have never done this before and the prep worries me. The scope itself feels like no big deal after two laps for endo. I know a lot of the ambulatory and surgical staff but I haven't met the doctor yet. I'll meet her tomorrow morning for the first time. Her hubby is my primary care physician, though.

It's almost 8 and the boys are still sleeping! They stayed up a little later last night since they didn't need to get up this morning. They are doing so good. They still see their mom once a week and C is supposed to see his dad every two weeks but he hasn't seen him in almost a month. D has only seen his dad once since they came to stay with us. The trial is still scheduled for May 25th and it sounds like whether Mom wins or looses they will still be able to go camping with us Memorial Weekend. I've been told that if they go back with Mom it is a gradual transition over a period of several weeks.

I have become quite attached to these two. They both can be quite challenging at times but when they test us I know they are testing our love and commitment along with our patience and tempers. Yesterday morning C was about unbearable. I wake them up at about 6:45 and I always wake them up with music and tickles on their cheeks. C always gets out of bed, turns on the light and then lays back down on the bed for me to get his jammies and diaper off. He wakes up smiling and laughing and talking.Yesterday he layed back down and pulled the blankets over his head. I knew I was in for it. He was so mad at me for everything I did. I put him on the potty (we're potty training) and he wouldn't look at me. He said he was mad at me. That's pretty funny coming from an almost 3 year old! Tried to get him dressed and he didn't like me. I could do nothing right. I got him dressed and then left him alone. He was fine by the time we left but it was a challenging hour or so!

I better run. I haven't written a long post in so long that I could just go on and on! I am excited for Prince William's wedding tomorrow! I only hope I am coherent enough to watch some of it!

Also, where is my Prayer Buddy? I haven't heard from you!

Prayer buddy reveal!

Better late than never, I guess!

I had the special blessing of getting to know a blogger new to me. I also had the special blessing of being able to pray for her big announcement before it was even announced on her blog! That's right, I prayer for Mary at The Screllos!

Mary, know that I will continue to pray for you and Ryan as your pregnancy progresses. I will also continue to pray for your father while he continues down the road to recovery. I'll have a little something out in the mail to you soon!

GOOD Friday

Good Friday is probably not the best day to write about this but I have about 20 minutes before I need to get the boys up and I am ready for work. 20 minutes to write is a HUGE block of time for me now.

Yesterday my boss and I finally had it out. The pressure had been building and building and yesterday I finally blew.

I had my annual GYN appt yesterday morning and I mention to the doctor some trouble I've been having digestively and rectally. You know where this is going. Yep, colonoscopy. So I get back to work and tell them everything looks fine gyno-wise but that she was calling the internist at my family doctor's practice to order a colonoscopy. The gyno's office calls back a bit later and says they have it scheduled. For next Friday. The last Friday of the month. And, they want me to take all day Thursday off to prep. I told her there was no way my boss would let me take two days off in a row at month end. She said the next available date would not be until the end of July and neither of the doctors suggest I wait that long. I said I'd talk to my boss.

My boss said just what I thought she'd say, NO! That's right, she denied me time off for a medical procedure that they do not suggest I wait 3 months for.  I told her fine, I would call and cancel and that she could call the office and set up something that she feels would work better and I walked out of her office. She got really mad and called me back into her office and that's when I lost it. I let her know everything that I have felt over the years, especially the last year during the adoption process.  She said feels like she has been supportive and treated me the same as the PG girls. She feels she actually gives me preferential treatment over the others. What?? Obviously, she doesn't remember ever telling me when I could and couldn't accept a placement and take time off. She doesn't remember telling me that E would have had to take daddy-leave if we had been picked for the baby that was due in February. She doesn't remember asking me after every caseworker phone call if the child was white, etc, etc.  Anyway, this went on for about 20 minutes and in the end we are still talking but I know it will never be the same. I feel bad. I feel like I am just way to sensitive a lot of the time and she feels she has done nothing wrong. She says she thinks of me as a daughter so I asked her what she would tell her own daughter if her doctor wanted her to have a colonoscopy immediately and her boss wouldn't let her. What would she tell her daughter? She said her daughter would have the colonoscopy. Okay then.

Well, I'm having mine next Friday but I think I'm only taking Thursday afternoon off to prep.

I had better run. My free time is up and the boys start their new day care today. Have a blessed Good Friday, everyone! I am in awe at the sacrifice Jesus made for me!

Trial date!

We finally have a trial date! Yay! It is a one day trial on May 25th starting at 9:30 am. The day before E and the boys would be heading up north for camping Memorial weekend. (I follow on Friday after work) This year I'll be packing our things a few days before as usual but then waiting for the verdict to know whether I'll be packing the boys to move out or go camping. I really don't think their mom will be found innocent but you never know. The evidence of neglect is quite overwhelming and everyone says the boys are thriving being out of her care but anything can happen.

I have to mention that the judge isn't granting C's dad custody yet. He needs to attend some counseling sessions and have a mental health evaluation. Seems he and his girlfriend broke up a few months ago and she kicked him out of her house. Because of the break-up he was homeless on top of being unemployed. He went to a shelter and sought help for depression. The judge was glad that he sought help but it was kept from the caseworker doing the home study and evaluation. The judge has concerns about the strength of the relationship and that if they split up again, C and his dad would both be homeless. Sounds like legitimate concerns to me!

We just got back from a 2 hour playing spree at the elementary school playground a few blocks from our house. The kids had a blast but I think my cheeks may be a little sunburned or windburned. Speaking of cheeks, my cousin gave me a pair of those shape-up shoes and my buns are kinda feeling it! I think those babies might really work. I'll know tomorrow when I'm walking funny, LOL!

We are interviewing a daycare Monday night. E's parents have been watching the boys but it is getting to be too much for my FIL. I love the man but he's a crotchety old Vietnam vet and is he very ornery lately. The boys love him and think he's funny but I can see his patience wearing thin. MIL would keep going, I think, but they are both retired and want their freedom again. I completely understand. They have given so much to these boys and they all adore each other. I am hoping at least one of the boys will be able to call them grandma and grandpa someday.

Other than that, everything here rolls on the same. My sinus infection cleared up just in time for the allergies to kick in! The boys and I are sneezing and itching eyes and it just warmed up this week. Tomorrow looks pretty rainy so that should help the pollen a bit.

Congrats for the new babies, blogger friends! I don't have time to link you all. You know who you are:) Prayers for you all still trying and trying to keep the faith. I still struggle with the why's and it's been 13 years now. I'll probably always ask why. Someday, the good Lord will tell me (I hope).