Moving right along

So, our home evaluation is scheduled for Tuesday, May 18 at 1:30pm. My E is gone the whole week before and then works the weekend before so the house should be relatively clean on that day. Of course, it'll be as clean as is possible with two yellow fur-shedders living here as well.

We are still working on a date of our parenting classes. We agreed to May 21st and 22nd but by the time I got the okay from my employer that class was full. That was the perfect date for us because a: I could take a Friday off and b: E is off that weekend. We are on the cancellation list but our SW doubts anyone will back out. The next classes are two Saturdays in a row, June 5th and 12th. My hubby never has two Saturdays in a row off unless he has vacation arranged. We are hoping he can get the second Saturday off but there are already people off in the jail. Sigh. The logistics.

I am not worrying, though, because we have lots to do before we can bring a child home. After the home eval and parenting class we'll just need our final approval. Once that comes through we could be matched immediately with a child. OH. MY. GOSH.

It seems unreal. This may be the last Mother's Day that I am not a mother. This may be the last Father's Day where E is not a father. We could potentially have a child to take camping with us yet this year. I may be able to enroll a little one in preschool. Make a Halloween costume. Carve a pumpkin. Take a family photo for a Christmas card. I am in awe of the possibilities yet I do not feel overwhelmed. I have waited for so long.

the cat is out of the bag!

I messed up. I casually mentioned my blog on Face.book and now everyone wants the address! How do I start a new blog for family and friends and have no connection to this one? Any tips? Will I have to make this one private and send invites? Input, please! I am not very blog savy!

Speak up!

I should have griped sooner! Our SW called today and they want us to attend a parenting class on Friday May 21st and Saturday the 22nd from 9am to 3pm. It is being held in a town just over an hour south of us. They also want to get our home study scheduled as soon as possible. Isn't that just awesome?????? I am so excited!!

Our SW commended us on the terrific job we did on completing our paperwork. I guess my "full disclosure" didn't hurt us one bit!
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While I am excited for us I am so sad and pissed as well. On the other side of things we had an absolute tragedy happen in my little old hometown. Actually, it happened 8 miles to the west in the town where I work but I consider both places my hometown. A completely innocent, 7 year old child was raped and stabbed by her mother's boyfriend this morning. She was brutally attacked and then murdered while her mother and her two younger siblings slept in the next room. The lousy bastard then turned the knife on himself and committed suicide. The mother found him before he died. He confessed to raping and killing her daughter. He said he stabbed her before she could tell on him. What a lousy bastard. I get so upset about any form of sexual abuse and domestic violence. The people who commit these horrendous acts are complete cowards. I hope this man burns in hell for all eternity. This is no forgiveness for an act like this. I cannot help how I feel on this subject. and I'll leave it at that. God bless that poor little soul and her grieving family.

Waiting is the hardest part

In the words of T.om Pe.tty, waiting is the hardest part.

There is nothing going on right now. Nothing. We are still working on the bedroom. Mud is going on the walls today and I should be able to sand it this weekend and paint next week. But as far as the adoption goes, we have heard nothing. I checked with our friends who are references and they have received nothing from the agency yet. We sent all our paperwork in two weeks ago today.

So, that's it! Waiting. Hurry up and wait. I guess I've waited 12 years, what's a few more months? God has granted me with the gift of incredible patience.

Lo.we's is my new favorite store

E has made great progress on the demolition of the little bedroom. All the lathe and plaster has been removed and it is time for wiring!




This is a shot of the inside of the walls in a 90 year old house.



Not very pretty and yeah, our whole house will look like that.

Friday night we went to Lo.we's and bought wiring, a light switch, some little blue boxes (I don't know what they're for - something electrical) and a new light for the bedroom. Oh, yeah, and new electrical outlets, too. Living in an old house means you never have enough closet space or electrical outlets. Nice thing about this remodel is that we can put as many outlets as we want in all the rooms. We are putting three in the little bedroom. Then we'll have to work out the closet situation because the room is too small to build a closet into a wall. My FIL does beautiful work working and I think he is going to build an armoire (sp) and re-do E's bed from his childhood a bit lower to the ground. That bed is just too high for a 4 year old.

Saturday morning I am heading back to Lo.we's. I saw a book on creating the perfect children's bedroom but I didn't buy it. I mentioned it to E and he asked why I didn't buy it. I also need to get a breaker thing for the breaker box and another electrical outlet. I think I'll get some pain chips, too even though we are days from that point. Then, I have to come home an suck up the cobwebs in our basement. Yay. Our basement is so gross. If you've ever heard the term "Mi.chigan basement" then you know how gross it it. My only consolation is that there isn't a dirt floor and someday my washer and dryer will be upstairs. E, FIL and our friend D are starting the wiring 9am Monday and they'll be spending some time in the basement running the wiring to the breaker box. Don't want the free help to go home with cobwebs in their hair!

Sunday, one of my cousins is making his First Holy Communion. I am so looking forward to Sunday! First off, he is making his FHC at a beautiful, old church that I love attending. It is half an hour from my house and in another county so I don't attend that church very often. Secondly, we are having our family Easter after his FHC. Kind of a joint party.

I haven't seen my out of town aunts,uncles and cousins since Christmas and I cannot wait to see them! My mom is the only girl from a family of 9 siblings. That's right - 8 brothers! All but one of her brothers are married so that means my mom has 7 sisters-in-law! I have 16 first cousins, three of which are married and one is engaged plus my brother and his wife (or whatever)and E and I for a total of 24! We range in age from 38 down to 5. Four of us first cousins currently have children, 8 all told, and two of us are expecting to become parents this year through 1 pregnancy and our adoption. 10 second cousins. When we are all together it is a huge party with lots of noise and tons of food. I joke that I cannot have everyone to my house because the noise would make the plaster fall off.



The above picture is from my brother's wedding almost 2 years ago. We are missing several family members but we are still a big group!

The only down point to this weekend is that E is working the whole thing. He works every other weekend. He tried to switch with someone but no one would do it. So, we'll be missing him tomorrow.

I guess if I'm going to get anything done today I better get running. Have a blessed weekend, everyone!



****UPDATE***** My hubby got tomorrow off. Yay!!! I am so excited he gets to go. He misses so many family functions with having to work every other weekend.

Demolition!!!

E started the demolition of the little room off of our bedroom today. We (he) is tearing out the lathe and plaster walls. We are then going to insulate, install new wiring and fixtures, drywall, paint and install new carpet. All for our little one. This is the mess I found when I got home.




And this is the view from my side of the bed.



And this is a shot of my new hairstyle.






Ha ha, just checking to see if you are paying attention. I finally figured out how to get my pictures from the camera to the computer. I'll post more pictures as we progress. There sure is a lot of noise coming from upstairs right now!

It's in the mail

Or, it will be tomorrow! Our entire adoption packet is completed and going out in the mail to the agency tomorrow. I am so excited! I really hope they hired that new social worker so we can start our home study ASAP!!

Full disclosure

I have been putting the finishing touches on my adoption self-study. I thought I was pretty much done with it until we spent last Saturday evening with some good friends who are also two of our references for our adoption. I will call him D and she K. Time flies when you spend it with these two. We were out there for almost 6 hours and all we did was talk. Conversation with this couple is always deep and the talk most of the evening was about our adoption and our ability to parent a waiting child. We were talking about how childhood experiences shape who we grow to be. E brought up a couple of issues from my past and suddenly my whole life story spilled out.

It took me back a bit. I thought about the childhood experiences section of my self-study. I knew I would have to change my answer to the questions about family traumas during my youth. My life was truly wonderful before the age of 12. I worked on my grandparents fruit farm with the rest of my family from May until October from the time I could walk until I was 12 when my grandparents sold the farm. We also played and camped and laughed and had fun. I was loved. I believe that if I hadn't had such a great first 12 years the devastation that came later could have had terribly consequences for me as an adult. The following is the response to question 13 of the childhood experiences section of my self-study. I decided to go with full disclosure of my traumatic experiences from my teen years and beyond. I believe these experienced have shaped who I am but they have not defined me. I am too strong for that.

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Childhood experiences, question 13, continued


When I first answered question 13 I was thinking specifically about my childhood in my preteen tears. Upon further reflections I realize it was not only my preteen years that shaped who I am today.

My losses came during and after my parents divorce in 1986. The custodial parenting decision was made at the divorce hearing. My brother and I heard my mother say she wanted us to live with our dad. What we, as children, heard was that she did not want us. I now know that was not the truth but that was how it seemed to us as the time. That was devastating.

My mom remarried shortly after the divorce and then moved to Florida. We stayed with our dad although my brother moved to our mom and step-dad's in Florida a few months later. I never left my dad. I stayed with him, took care of the house and tried to pick up the pieces of him and put him back together. That was way too much responsibility for a teenager. He was hurting so bad and as an adult I now see he was exhibiting all the signs of depression.

A couple of years later, in 1988, his mental state worsened when the woman he was dating and in love with was killed by her ex-husband. She had been the victim of an abusive husband. He continued his abuse after their divorce by stalking and threatening her. He carried out his threats by murdering her and then killing himself. My dad regressed further into depression.

My brother moved back about this time and he and I grew very close. The fear that Dad's mental state would lead him to suicide was very real and present in everyday thoughts. We had nowhere to turn as friends and family downplayed all our fears.

Now as an adult and looking back I truly believe my father would have been diagnosed with a mental illness such as depression or bi-polar disorder. In 1991 he suffered another loss as another woman he was dating was killed in an automobile accident. My brother and I were headed to Florida with our grandparents and we were in an accident in Tennessee the same evening dad's friend was killed. I was so scared that he would take his life that I called him every day to check on him.

My poor father's life was so full of loss and pain. In 2000 he was forced into retirement due to blindness caused by extreme glaucoma pressure. Eric, my husband, and I did what we could to get him on disability and take care of his errands and doctors appointments. He stayed with us a few times for several weeks after eye surgeries.

Then in 2006 he was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma. By the time the cancer was found it had already spread from his lungs to his liver, kidneys, bowels and brain. They would radiate one area and tumors would spring up in another area. Dad lived just over 3 months after his diagnosis. Near the end I was praying for God to take this man and finally offer him some peace. He died at sunrise on Monday June 26,2006. I cried for the loss of my father but I celebrated his release. I knew with his passing he had finally found peace, comfort and wholeness in the arms of Jesus.

I need to disclose this part of my life because it has shaped who I have grown to be. I have not let the pain I was exposed to define me. The pain that I witnessed molded me into the caring, compassionate and faith-filled woman I am today. I wrote these words without a tear in my eye because I know that everything happens for a reason. I feel, perhaps, witnessing my father's pain was a training course for helping children in the future come to terms with their devastating losses. I need to feel that kind of pain has a purpose in fulfilling God's great plan for all of us.

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Our friend, D, wants to write a movie script about my life. He thinks it would make a great after school special. I believe anyone can rise above the circumstances of a negative past with enough strength and faith in God. I hope this doesn't hurt our chances at adoption but I did not want the agency to think I was leaving anything out about my past.

It's all fun and games until......

So I get home from work tonight and the kitchen is trashed and I mean trashed. My hubby made his world famous, home-made spaghetti sauce. Okay, so it's not world famous and the recipe changes every single time he makes it but it is very good. Anyway, I looked at that mess and just walked away. There was no way I could tackle that the minute I got home tonight. So instead, I got on the computer a wrote a therapeutic little e-mail to my good friend Joy beyond the Cross. I felt much better after composing my little note to her.

I would have made him clean it up but he had already left for his Friday night basketball game over at the middle school. He plays ball with my uncle and his brother-in-law, some of my cousins and some other guys who are friends of the family. So, he's at ball and I'm playing around on Face.book. I had cleaned up the mess in the kitchen so I could relax a little bit. My cousin's wife suddenly comes on and says her husband just got his nose broke at basketball. I typed, "Oh, I hope he's okay and I hope my hubby wasn't involved!" She types back that her hubby text her "I just broke my nose, E did it, don't ask". Oh man!!! Now I am not married to a mean man or a brute. But he is a very big man and a very good athlete. He is 6' 4" and 290 lbs. He played hockey, basketball, football and wrestled all through high school. In his adult years he has played hockey, basketball and he runs and bike rides for miles on end. He is strong and quick and competitive and my poor cousin's nose has paid the price tonight!

Oh well, we can't control what our husbands and kids do sometimes any more than we can control the weather!

I have a very whiny dog tonight. I think I'll go snuggle with him for awhile. As long as I don't need to run anyone to ER tonight, that is!! Have a great weekend. I'll post pics on Monday of my hubby and I at our nephew and God-son's baptism on Sunday!

UPDATE: My uncle also got his pinky broke tonight. Again, my hubby was involved. He's really not a mean guy but he is a brick wall when someone runs into him. I think he needs to learn to shoot outside the perimeter. He hurts people when he's under the net! My cousin is having surgery next week to repair the damage done to his nose. My hubby feels terrible!

Gifted.....with Joy!!

I received the most wonderful package in the mail today! It was from my prayer buddy and special friend, Joy Beyond the Cross! She sent me a devotional book called Chosen and Cherished, Biblical Wisdom for your Marriage, a couple of Infant of Prague prayer cards, a Holy Family prayer card from her wedding and a beautiful Rosary made by her own two hands and blessed by St. Benedict XVI himself. I will post a picture as soon as I figure out how to download photos into my new computer. JBTC was become such a cherished friend and I am so thankful God has brought us together. I look forward to her e-mails and comments on my posts. I also love to read her posts and feel the faith of her and her hubby. I have been truly blessed by connecting with JBTC!!!!


I needed something to liven me up today and Joy's gift was just the ticket! It is CD 1 today and all it did was rain, rain, rain. Tonight and tomorrow they are calling for snow and temp's in the low 40's. Yuck. Last week it was in the 70's!


I had my physical today and the doc passed me. Besides my allergies and endo I am basically healthy so I expected no less. I go on the 20th to my gyn and I'll break the news to her that I won't be transferring to the fertility specialist she recommends. My doc will be happy for us, though, because her only child was adopted.

Tomorrow I go for my fingerprints. Then all of our "top priority" details will be done. I am almost done with my self-study but E hasn't even started his yet. He has no idea the writer's cramps he is about to endure....


My brother surprised me last Friday with a gift. It certainly was not what I expected but it is very cool none the less. He's been working in Texas and I thought for sure it would be a cowboy hat or some boots....something Texas like that. Instead, it is a 1953 Willy's Je.ep. Yes, an old army-style Je.ep. I already drive a Liberty and my brother teases me about my girl Je.ep. He has said for years I needed a cool 4x4. Well, now I've got one! It needs some work but the body and the interior are both good. I want to put a roll-cage on it and a bikini top. It'll probably need some new tires, too and the engine needs some work. It will be a brother-sister project. I'll watch and he'll do all the work. Hey, every project needs a supervisor! The timing is perfect because we can't take a little one on a motorcycle. My new toy is a two-seater. Daddy can ride the bike and mommy and child can take the Willy! Can you tell I'm excited??


Not much happening here, otherwise. I'm keeping all of you in my prayers! I had enough time waiting for the doctor this morning to be able to pray a rosary for all my blogger girls! Have a blessed evening!

Long have I waited for your coming.....

So I have about 20 minutes before my show, NC.IS comes on. It's just about the only show I stop everything to watch!

My in-laws and nieces just left. My, but my house is not child proof! I'm going to have to work on that!

Which brings us to the adoption! We met last Wednesday with the director of the agency we have chosen. Her name is Suzanne and she is wonderful! Super wonderful! She put us immediately at ease about the whole process of adoption from foster care. She also gave us some awesome news about newborn adoption in the counties they cover. As of right now, there are only 2 families home study ready for a newborn. And, they have already placed 2 babies this year. What that means is that the wait for a newborn is averaging about 1 year compared to the statistical average of 3 to 5 years. Which brings me to our decision. We have decided to go ahead with waiting child adoption but we are also going to start the newborn process in the very near future. We need to put the financial end of newborn adoption in order but I think we can do it. What we cannot raise ourselves I know the credit union I work for would loan us.

We feel doing both processes will put us in the best position to accept whatever child God makes available to us. We would like a newborn but I can see us with a 3 or 4 year old, too. My nieces are 2 and 4 and they are so much fun!

So that's it in a nutshell. My hubby had his pre-adoption physical and fingerprinting done today. I have my physical tomorrow and fingerprinting on Thursday. Then the top priority things will be done and we'll be ready to start the home study process. The agency is backed up a month or two but they are going to hire another social worker. We will most likely be assigned to the new social worker. A smaller case load means quicker turn around time, right? In 8 to 12 weeks we could be parents if we are matched with a child! Seems unreal!

Last week one of my credit union members asked if I had all my eggs dyed and if I was ready for the Easter bunny. I replied "I don't do that stuff"! My co-worker, Erica, said, "you will"! It stopped me in my tracks! I will!!!!! And very soon! I will do all of the fun stuff that has broke my heart over the last 12 years! Seeing my family doing all of the holiday things you do with your child. I felt so left out. Very soon it will be my turn to color Easter eggs, plan Halloween costumes, go see Santa....all those fun things we do with our children. And, I will be able to tell my child that I waited so long for them. And that they were wanted and prayed for. And that they were handed picked, just for us, by God himself. That will be just so cool.......

Happy Easter and the "Big Reveal"!

I hope everyone has had blessed and holy Lenten Season. Tonight begins the Easter Season! A time of celebration! A time to celebrate life - a life that lasts forever! Death has been conquered by Jesus' sacrifice!

I love the Easter Season. I love the spring with the blossoming trees and new flowers. I love the First Communions. I love seeing the little children receive Christ's Body for the first time. I even love Mother's Day (although for me it has been a very painful holiday in the past) and honoring my mothers and grandmothers. Next year, I may be a mother and I will love the newness of that, too.

Our family Easter celebration is in a few hours. My E has to work until 5:30 so we're doing dinner instead of the traditional mid-day meal. I am taking angel food cake with strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate. Doesn't that sound yummy!

My nieces are on their way up to spend the week with Grandma and Grandpa. G & G will be tuckered out by next weekend not being used to a 4 year old and a 2 year old in their house for more than a couple of days. I'm sure Uncle E will be over there on his days off this week to help entertain.

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Now on to the Big Reveal!!! My Lenten Prayer Buddy is an absolute gem. I am not sure that she even reads my blog but I read her every post. She has given me a lot to pray about during the Lenten season. Thyroid cancer, foster care home study, Lenten sacrifices, thyroid removal surgery, discomfort after surgery, fatigue, migraine headaches, an EDD that came during Lent - this girl kept me in constant conversation with God!! But, I would not give up a minute of it! You all know who I prayed for, SEW INFERTILE! God bless her, she has had more challenges than any God fearing woman should have but you know what? It has made her incredibly strong. I believe that with what God has given her, Sew can bear the unbearable and persevere. She can take those challenges head on, plow through and come out the other side with her convictions intact and ready to tackle the next challenge. Even though Easter is here I will continue to pray for you, Sew, as well as all of the other women who have touched my life through these blogs.

The most amazing thing is that by focusing my prayers completely on Sew and taking my own requests out of my prayer time I have heard God speak to me in an entirely new way. I stopped searching for the answers to my own problems. And in doing that I heard direction for my future. I know now where God wants me to be.

My next post will be about our adoption(s). Yes, possibly plural!


God's love to you all!!!