Light at the end of the tunnel....

We were finally assigned an adoption worker and she came for a visit last week. We basically had to have another adoption orientation because we've been approved to adopt for over two years. We had to complete another application and financial statement, get background checks and physicals again and authorization releasing of employment information. Our approval still stands but they needed all our information updated.

She was a very nice person and she interacted with O more than any other worker we have had come visit. We really liked her but O was a bit shy around her. She asked him a few questions about himself and he was so funny about answering her. She asked what he liked best about himself and he hung his head and said "well, I'm really good at blowing bubbles". He's really good at a lot of things but he was too timid to speak up. That is a bit unusual for him but he has been really tired from starting school.

She is coming for another visit this week and we should know whether or not an appeal has been filed by either parent. Pending an appeal, her estimated time frame for finalization of the adoption is.........December or January!!!

So there is light at the end of this looooong tunnel. Our 16th wedding anniversary is coming up in just 3 weeks and we've been striving to become parents that entire time. We aren't going to change his first or middle names, just his last name and his social security number. My goal was to have his last name changed before they started learning to write it in school!

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I have an update about our other two little guys. They made the big move to their aunt's down in Indiana this past Saturday. She has been awarded guardianship of the two. I am excited about this situation because she and I went to school together and have always been friendly. She has already posted photos of the boys on FB (which she can do because it is a guardianship situation) and we have chatted about them as well. She sent me her address so I can mail the boys cards and notes and things. Little C told his aunt Sunday morning that he had a dream about my hubby racing his kayak. How cool is that? Aunt T said the boys still talk about  us and their "brother" that is living with us now. I love and miss the boys so much but I know being with family is preferred over foster parents. I pray for some permanence for them, however, because now it feels so temporary.

Busy, busy

Summer has been busy so I took a break (again) from blogging. My focus has been on having tons of fun with O and my hubby.

I came back today after hearing the news of my dear friend, M. My heart is breaking for her and her hubby and Baby B. I am offering all my prayers to their comfort and reassurance.

While I am here, I'll give an update as to where we are with O. He is going to be ours! Yes, OURS!! His parents rights were terminated last Thursday and we began the adoption process. We are waiting to be assigned our adoption worker but our foster worker made her last visit to our home this past Wednesday. Now, we just have to wait. There will most likely be appeals by both parents but I am not concerned. Mom didn't even show up for her own termination ruling. Dad was there but he failed on all points the judge had to consider. Mom received one point of a possible six. That one point she passed on was that she and O are bonded and love each other but the judge said that is not enough to raise a healthy, well-adjusted child in a safe and stable environment. She definitely cannot provide that.

So, we'll keep going the way we have been. He is a busy, busy kid with a bit of an attention deficit but I believe structure and starting school will improve that. We are camping this weekend and then kindergarten starts Tuesday. He'll be in school full-day, 5 days a week and then go to daycare after school. I saw last year how our previous boys improved after school started and their schedule was consistent. I am hoping for the same for O.

That is where we're at today! We'll just keep going the way we have been. Loving on O and having fun and raising him and teaching him. It will be at least 6 months before we can finalize, longer if there is an appeal.
I will try, try, try to keep posting but you all know that I am a blogging slacker who puts her family first, LOL!

The trial that wasn't....

I got so caught up in the camping prep I forgot to post that the trial was postponed indefinitely. At this time we have no reschedule date. I guess O's dad got out of jail and his attorney wanted time to review the case with him. That's understandable but very frustrating. I didn't want to leave you all hanging!

I hope you all have a great holiday weekend! I'm posting this from our camp site and I am prepared to enjoy this long weekend and my vacation days from work. I have a license to chill this weekend:)

This is the week! Thursday morning we have to be at the county prosecutor's office in the wee hours for a briefing before court. I believe he wants to meet us and talk to us about O and see how he's doing with us. I am so anxious; I can hardly stand it!

How is he doing?? He is doing GREAT! I am simply amazed by how well he is doing.

How are we doing?? We are learning and some days are a struggle. He is a good kid for having no direction previously in his life. It is hard to have enough patience some days though. We are having to teach him so much, even the very basic things like flushing the toilet every time he goes or picking up things or even not walking up and grabbing something from someone. All day long we have to be ON and it's exhausting.

I am not complaining, don't get me wrong, I'm just stating the facts. E worked just 3 days this week and he was with O the other 4. I was out of town for work yesterday and when I got home I had to take over. E was whipped and said "they spent too much time together this past week." I laughed but I knew what he meant. It's hard to be so diligent. Like right now I'm making dinner and trying to get him pick up all his art things off the table. (He's super artistic and musical and not into sports or trucks at all) Anyway, it's "O, put your markers in their box. O, put your markers in their box. O, put your markers in their box!!" Then we repeat with crayons and the scissors and the glue stick and his papers and his coloring books....it's like that all. day. long. I love it, I do, and I praise him like he just cured cancer when he does it within a couple times of asking him. Like I said, diligence and being constantly on. Every day he learns and does a bit better.

One thing we didn't need to teach him was his basic manners. He has said please and thank you and may I ever since he arrived. He had a 2 week unit at daycare last month on manners and he cleaned up on the reward chart. He got a sticker every time he displayed good manners and he kicked butt over the other kids, LOL.

Anyway, things are good here. We're still waiting to hear on our previous 2 boys and their futures. They are still leaning towards moving C to his dad's and hopefully we can get D back. I have my qualms about being involved with his mother for the rest of our lives but I do want what is best for D. We had such good cooperation with C's dad too that the boys would still be able to be in contact and have holiday and summer visits. I want them to stay connected. The next hearing for their case is sometime in July. I can hold out on that case because O keeps me hopping so much.

We have our first camping trip starting after court on Thursday and O is so excited! I'm having trouble convincing him that he doesn't need to take all of his worldly possessions with, though.

That's it for now! My goal is to post once a week from here on out. Don't hold me to it too strongly!

O boy!

Whoa....I haven't been on the blogs in forever. Things are a changin!

Things are changing in my life, too. The plan is, we'll be adoptive parents by year-end!

We have a hearing on the 24th for termination of both parents rights. I can't go into details in the here and now but his parents are making it really easy for us. Once rights are terminated there will be a couple of 90-day reviews but then we should be able to adopt O. It could happen in November or December. I am praying that it is this year.

This boy was made to be ours. All the tears and fears and anger and doubt and wondering are in the past. He. is. our. boy. period.

He and E have bonded unbelievably. We had concerns about that since his dad wasn't in his life and it was just he and his mom but all fears are now gone. He loves E and wants to do everything he does. He loves me too but he can take me or leave me when E is around. That is fine by me! I couldn't imagine a better role model than my husband for this little boy. Plus, it gives me time to do my thing which is usually vacuuming and cleaning without the assistance of my little man, LOL!

He's in daycare usually 3 days a week and he appears to have caught up socially with very little effort. Everybody loves him. We registered him for kindergarten already and he has his testing in early June. This kid is off the charts in intelligence; we can see that already. He can write. He can already read some words. He knows his colors and shapes and letters and numbers....he is smart. (Did I mention he's 4-1/2?) He's not into sports at all but loves music and art. He loves working in the wood shop with E or my FIL too. They have been making corn toss games and birdhouses and then painting them in cool designs. I have a SpongeBob one hanging in my yard right now! (He loves, loves, LOVES SB!)

I cannot say enough about this child and how amazed I am by him. We are seeing very little effect from the neglect he endured while with his mother. He is resilient. He is a fighter. He is a survivor. And, he'll be fine!

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On a sad note, our previous boys have been back in foster care for almost a month. They were home for 4 months to the day when their mother was arrested. Our worker called me on a Monday and said they were filing the petition for removal and wanted to know if we could bring the boys back. E and I talked about it and prayed about it and called our parents and my mentor and we had to say no. It about broke my heart in two. We had to do what was best for O and bringing the two boys back was not going to be good for him as he had only been with us for a monthat that time. I about died inside.

The littlest guy may be going to his dad's. They are working on that but then D will be alone. We are all concerned about that. His little brother is his best friend and they have been together every singe day for almost 4 years. When and if that happens, we will try to get D back with us. I would love to have 2 boys and then O would have a playmate. D and O are 1 year and 1 grade apart so it may be ok. We will see how it plays out. I just knew that I could not handle 3 boys ages 5, 4 and 3. I know my limitations inside and out.



Carrying on

It is amazing how quickly life goes right back to the normalcy of having children. We were just one week shy of being childless for three months and, while we enjoyed our little break, I am so glad to be a mommy again. Life is not all sunshine and gumdrops but our last case taught us so much and, while this little guy is giving us new challenges, things are going relatively smooth.

Little Man was severly neglected. I know he spent at least 48 hours on his own this last time while his mom was passed out intoxicated. This wasn't a new thing for him. In just over a year's time CPS has stepped in four times. The first time he stayed in the home and services were presented for the two of them. The next three times, which happened in the last twelve months, he was removed. He went to the same foster home during the first two removals but they are not a foster-to-adopt home like we are. That is why he came to us this past removal. It appears to all parties involved that his mother's rights will be permanently terminated.

This past weeke has been tough for him. He has said several times over the past 18 days that he misses his mom but this past week things have ramped up. Starting this past Wednesday he has been sad a lot. He pouts but he barely cries. He says he's sad because he misses his mom. It is heartbreaking. I've been told that when she was sober she was a great mom. She just couldn't beat the alcohol. I don't know if there was anything else going on but I know she drank heavily.

We just keep on carrying on here. A lot of love and attention and structure. That's all we can really do. He tries out patience like the other boys do but he is a lot different too. He feels like he is ours already. We see a great future for all three of us.

Additional Info...

We received the court documents in the mail today. Yes, already. The termination hearing is scheduled for May. I think they are serious about him not going back. I feel so bad for his mom but she is sick and needs help terribly.

Also, I forgot to mention that he is from almost 2 hours away. No chance of keeping him in the same school. I also don't think there will be any parent time from now until termination. There are some pretty serious circumstances regarding his removal that I cannot go into right now. Let's just say he is much safer now.