Not forgotten...

Yes, I am aware that I still have a blog! And yes, I am able to log on and catch up once a month or so on some of the blogs I follow. Life is moving way too fast for me to do much else though.

Yes, O is still with us and those of you who are FB friends with me know what a character he truly is! Oh my word, we have so much fun with him! He is our son, through and through. In hindsight, I know why God had me go through all that we went through. O wasn't even born yet, that's why! He was made to be our son, end of story. He is the one.

We got word last week that the appeal ruling will be read on May 8th at 11am. Obviously, we do not know the decision yet but his attorney told us we are proceeding with the adoption. In fact, we have all of the adoption paperwork signed and turned into the state, including his birth certificate application. All we need now is the ruling. His birth mother has 28 days to file an appeal with the supreme court but after that time period we can finalize and legally, he will become our son! May 8th and then June 6th cannot come soon enough!

Speaking of June, O's last day of kindergarten in June 4th. How can it be the last month of school already? On top of that, where have the last 14 months that he's been with us gone? We celebrated his Gotcha Day (Leap Day 2012) by going to Wendy's, his choice. We talk daily about the impending adoption finalization and he is beyond ready. He tells us constantly that he loves us and he rarely ever talks about his birth mother. When he refers to his time before he came here he says "when I was little". He never says things like "with my mom" or "when I lived with my mom". I am his mom.

Anyway, we stay so busy with work and O and school things and working on the house - life is so good. I thank God every day for the gift of my little family!

( Ha ha, he just said to me "Mom, you're my special Mom". I love this kid so much!)

Long have I waited....

We finally got something this week that we've been waiting 7 long months for. No, we're no closer to finalizing the adoption; we're still waiting for the ruling on the appeals. What we did get was a copy of O's neuropsych eval from September of 2011. What is says in there really isn't too surprising but a couple of things caught us off guard.

The report gave us the dates that he was in foster care previously and that was great to know. It also gave the reasons for removal which was also good to know. No surprise that it made reference to the difficulties he would have on Tuesday and Thursday after he saw his mother. Thank goodness we didn't have to do parental visits. The judge ordered no contact at removal.

It was nice to find out that his birth weight was 6 pounds, 9 ounces. I was 6 pounds, 8 ounces and he is way bigger than I was at 5! We also discovered that at 6 months gestation his mother was hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption. We knew she had drank but didn't know just how much she drank. She maintains that it was only the one time but I just can't believe that.

The report also stated that during his testing he was active, impulsive and easily distracted. Just the way he is now with us. That is indicative of ADHD but our doctor will not test him until he is 6. Right now we and the school are using behavior management and working with him on his restlessness and short attention.

They also stated they saw signs of anxiety and we have seen those too. He has a habit of twisting the hair on the top of his head when he is questioning something or when we are directing or correcting.

The report also states that while he is a very intelligent child and achieved high measured in the pre-academic/literacy skills he scored low in the other skills tests such as comparison, concepts, self and social awareness, quantity and time/sequence. I have seen improvement in all these areas in the last 7 months but the lower scores 14 months ago are indicative of some future learning delays. We will be scheduling an IEP to make a plan for his potential learning difficulties.

While our pediatrician didn't see any physical indication of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, ADHD, anxiety and cognitive delays are all symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Exposure (Syndrome), something that we have been concerned with all along.

He started counseling two weeks ago and I gave her a copy of the report for review. She is going to review the report and then set up a meeting to go over some "tricks" for helping raise O to be a fully functioning, productive member of society. None of this isn't manageable and we have vowed to do all we can to help him through this. We love him and he is ours.

O brought home his report card from school yesterday and I was almost afraid to open it after receiving the eval this week. I was absolutely thrilled with his report card though! He scored satisfactory or higher in all of his subjects! I was especially thrilled with his teachers comments:

"O is an outgoing and friendly little boy. He knows 26 upper case and 27 lower case letters. He knows 25 letter sounds to date. He is starting to read the popcorn words that we have covered so far. O can do the math work in class with additional support and direction. He does have some difficulty completing work and will walk away from his work and get side tracked easily. He has a good temperament and does not argue about going back to work but does try to negotiate a better deal. O had endeared himself to most of the adults here at school and has made many friends in class. I enjoy working with him in our classroom."

Doesn't it just make a mama proud?? When I think of what he's gone through in 4-1/2 years and where he is after 7 months I can see him future and it's bright. We will do all that we can to help him succeed. He is a fighter and he wants to be successful. We will help his get there!!

Movie quote

I feel like a defective typewriter

(Sorry it's so blurry, I had to enlarge a little picture)

That's right, I've missed my period. By a whole week. Before you gals go all crazy-excited for me know that I already had a blood test yesterday and my HCG was a big, fat zero. If I don't start by Monday it's back to the doctor for an exam, more blood work and an ultrasound.  . I'm leaning towards an ovarian cyst but we'll see what they find.

So while dealing with the ups and downs of this week and by goofy body we got our assessment approval letter from the adoption agency. They have approved us to formally adopt O! We are still waiting on the appeals court to rule on his parents appeals but once that happens we will be able to finalize his adoption. We still don't expect a ruling before mid-December but you never know.

Other than that, O is doing so good! He is starting counseling next week with a child-trauma councilor who specializes in play therapy. The probate judge had requested he get counseling and we wholeheartedly agreed. It will teach him to deal with feelings that right now are bottled up and suppressed.

That's all I have time for now. He's come down with a stomach bug and is sick this morning. Hopefully, it passes quickly and he's the only one that gets it.

Endo Study

I just heard about another endo study for women surgically diagnosed. I don't qualify to participate because I was diagnosed more than 7 years but I thought some of you might be interested. Here is the link: https://www.violetpetalstudy.com/HomePage.aspxe

Just a warning: They do want you to use two forms of non-hormonal contraceptives. Not sure how I feel about that since it is for medical research but you can decide for yourselves. Just wanted to share! Anything to find a cure for this damnable disease!

Just a quick one

Here's just a quick post to let you all know things are still going well. Tomorrow we are having our first big birthday party for my soon-to-be five year old. Our theme is "SpongeBob", of course, and we are making a nice family and close friends dinner followed by presents, cake and ice cream cake. We are keeping the birthday party somewhat smallish because we are planning a huge adoption/baptism party this winter (fingers crossed).

The appeals are still in review and we are hoping to hear something in the next few weeks. I don't know how long it takes for a ruling but my estimation is that the appeals court has had the case for right around a month. I'm thinking maybe 4 to 6 weeks? I have a friend that was a legal assistant for a family lawyer but I keep forgetting to ask her what the timeline is.

We are leaning towards getting him evaluated for emotional impairments as well as ADHD or ADD. Sometimes it's hard to tell  what is going on with him. At times I think he could be ADD or ADHD but other times I think it's all because he had no direction until he was 4 1/2. Conferences are this week and after I speak with his teacher we'll meet with the principal and take it from there. It's such a process because caseworkers have to be involved and everything has to be review by CPS and the agency. It takes a village to raise a foster child, at least it feels that way with most things.

Other than that, it is day-to-day living. Little O is such a fun kid and we are having a blast with him. I love watching him learn and explore and blossom daily.

Light at the end of the tunnel....

We were finally assigned an adoption worker and she came for a visit last week. We basically had to have another adoption orientation because we've been approved to adopt for over two years. We had to complete another application and financial statement, get background checks and physicals again and authorization releasing of employment information. Our approval still stands but they needed all our information updated.

She was a very nice person and she interacted with O more than any other worker we have had come visit. We really liked her but O was a bit shy around her. She asked him a few questions about himself and he was so funny about answering her. She asked what he liked best about himself and he hung his head and said "well, I'm really good at blowing bubbles". He's really good at a lot of things but he was too timid to speak up. That is a bit unusual for him but he has been really tired from starting school.

She is coming for another visit this week and we should know whether or not an appeal has been filed by either parent. Pending an appeal, her estimated time frame for finalization of the adoption is.........December or January!!!

So there is light at the end of this looooong tunnel. Our 16th wedding anniversary is coming up in just 3 weeks and we've been striving to become parents that entire time. We aren't going to change his first or middle names, just his last name and his social security number. My goal was to have his last name changed before they started learning to write it in school!

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I have an update about our other two little guys. They made the big move to their aunt's down in Indiana this past Saturday. She has been awarded guardianship of the two. I am excited about this situation because she and I went to school together and have always been friendly. She has already posted photos of the boys on FB (which she can do because it is a guardianship situation) and we have chatted about them as well. She sent me her address so I can mail the boys cards and notes and things. Little C told his aunt Sunday morning that he had a dream about my hubby racing his kayak. How cool is that? Aunt T said the boys still talk about  us and their "brother" that is living with us now. I love and miss the boys so much but I know being with family is preferred over foster parents. I pray for some permanence for them, however, because now it feels so temporary.

Busy, busy

Summer has been busy so I took a break (again) from blogging. My focus has been on having tons of fun with O and my hubby.

I came back today after hearing the news of my dear friend, M. My heart is breaking for her and her hubby and Baby B. I am offering all my prayers to their comfort and reassurance.

While I am here, I'll give an update as to where we are with O. He is going to be ours! Yes, OURS!! His parents rights were terminated last Thursday and we began the adoption process. We are waiting to be assigned our adoption worker but our foster worker made her last visit to our home this past Wednesday. Now, we just have to wait. There will most likely be appeals by both parents but I am not concerned. Mom didn't even show up for her own termination ruling. Dad was there but he failed on all points the judge had to consider. Mom received one point of a possible six. That one point she passed on was that she and O are bonded and love each other but the judge said that is not enough to raise a healthy, well-adjusted child in a safe and stable environment. She definitely cannot provide that.

So, we'll keep going the way we have been. He is a busy, busy kid with a bit of an attention deficit but I believe structure and starting school will improve that. We are camping this weekend and then kindergarten starts Tuesday. He'll be in school full-day, 5 days a week and then go to daycare after school. I saw last year how our previous boys improved after school started and their schedule was consistent. I am hoping for the same for O.

That is where we're at today! We'll just keep going the way we have been. Loving on O and having fun and raising him and teaching him. It will be at least 6 months before we can finalize, longer if there is an appeal.
I will try, try, try to keep posting but you all know that I am a blogging slacker who puts her family first, LOL!