Oh my gosh you guys! Thank you so much for your prayers, your advice and your support! I am overwhelmed. I thought for sure you'd all abandon me since I hadn't posted in so long!
They boys are still with us. When I left for work yesterday morning I planned on calling our CW. That was where we were at. E sent me a text asking me what I wanted. I called and told him I wanted to keep the boys but I didn't want him to be miserable. I told him we would do whatever we needed to do to keep us both happy. He said he felt guilty and he didn't want to hurt me. I told him not to feel guilty and that we wouldn't even be in this boat if I had a functioning uterus! So if he didn't want to keep the boys, we'd be even. We'd move forward and live our lives. We were happy before the boys came and we would be fine in the end. He said to hold off calling the CW.
Yogi had a snow day yesterday and it was E's day off so he had both of the boys at home with him. E and Yogi made no-bake cookies together. Then they all went outside and the boys played while E worked in his garage. He didn't make them take naps and they watched Batman together. They all had a great day. Bedtime was awesome last night. Boo Boo was exhausted due to no nap so I put him in bed just before 7. Yogi stayed up watching the rest of Batman with E and went to bed fine at his usual bedtime of 7:30. Boo Boo was sound asleep by the time Yogi went to bed so there was no struggle. It was the perfect bedtime routine I had always dreamed of. I think we're figuring things out.
All in all the three of them had a great day. The visit with mom was cancelled for last night due to school being cancelled. The boys were bummed but they had such a good day with E it sort of made up for it.
I really think the issues E is having is a bonding thing. Maybe his heart is a little more guarded than mine. I keep saying I'll love them for as long as I can. I think he's thinking he'll love them when and if they get to stay.
Thank you again for all your prayers and well wishes. I don't know where this all will lead but I am feeling a lot better over all. E is switching crews at work, too, to get away from a stressful coworker. I keep praying that this will all work out the way God intends for it to.
Jane 23
5 months ago
7 comments:
I'm so happy he reconsidered!! Still praying everything works out!
Hey M...I just read the post below and I am glad things are looking up, but I know there is a long way to go. I agree with some of the posters in the last post - I think fostering is much different given all of the stress from various angles it is reasonable I think for one to question their commitment. I will pray for you tonight. Love you!
So glad to see that things are better. You definitely have yourself a good man. :) Praying!
Okay I'm exhaling! I've been hoping things would settle down a bit! Parenting is so hard, and parenting little ones that have had a "tough go" is, well, the toughest! Be patient with hubs - it sounds like he is a great guy and WILL be a good daddy. Every time we add a child to our family, there is a serious 6 month adjustment period where we seriously wondered why the heck we "ruined our lives:)" Hang in there hon, I'm prayin!
What a relief! Okay, deep breath and soldier on! :)
I understand where he is coming from with the bonding. It is so different with foster kids. Our hearts want to love them, but at the same time we hold back to the "when and if they join our family" to really let them into our hearts.
I pray that God holds your hearts and blesses your marriage!
The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
How insightful of you-I bet that is exactly what this is about! My dh would be the same way-less emotional and more guarded until he knew for sure. You are so wise the way you handled it letting him have the say and then he reciprocating by not wanting to hurt you. It sounds like you both are so loving and understanding and caring toward each other. And about the learning part, I am still learning with my 2 year old. Its def a process!
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