Hallelujah, Lenten Prayer Buddies! I joked on JBTC's post that someone will strike pay dirt when I offer up my situation for them!
I had a major meltdown last night when Yogi was having a meltdown. I called Nate, our CW, and sobbed that I didn't think I could do it any more. Nate talked me down and assured me that Yogi would be getting the help he needs very, very soon.
Yogi is going to be evaluated by our local mental health agency next week. This boy has some serious issues and he is escalating quickly. This week we have been hit, punched, kicked, slapped and pinched. And, he tried to kick Buddy yesterday morning. Luckily, Buddy is fast and the blow didn't strike but I got between them real quick because I was afraid Buddy would lunge in defense. Nate was here Wednesday night and he took a bit of the physical abuse, too. I am so glad he was here to witness exactly what happens when Yogi doesn't get his way and freaks out on us. He assured us we are doing everything right but this child just completely looses touch with reality.
So far, Boo Boo is not exhibiting any of the same behaviors as his brother on his own. Unfortunately, it is "monkey see, monkey do". If he sees big brother acting out he starts to follow suite. We try to get Boo Boo away as quickly as possible until we can divert Yogi. Yesterday morning was such a struggle to get Yogi ready for school that Boo Boo was pretty much left to his own devices. He ate cold cereal in front of the TV while I fought for half an hour to get Yogi out of bed and dressed. I feel like I nag him all day long. Away from his brother, Yogi has been great. Together is when the trouble starts. The poor child is starved for attention and acts out wickedly to get it!
I told Nate that honestly he shouldn't feel bad if the boys do get separated. I think it would be good for Boo Boo to be away from Yogi. His influence is detrimental to Boo Boo.
I had better run. Yogi is sleeping like an angel but E and Boo Boo just got home from a parental visit. Boo Boo's dad made it to visitation but Yogi's couldn't get a ride so we hung out together. He didn't say a word about Boo Boo seeing his dad and him not. I'm sure it will manifest somehow over the weekend!
Long overdue final update (such a good one)!
3 months ago
5 comments:
wow, bless your heart. You have quite a situation going on over there. I know you will be given the guidance you need to handle the situation and show love while you are handling it.
My first response is wow. It makes me so mad to hear about children who have been so damaged by the adults who are supposed to love and protect them!
You are truly amazing, and I know that you are doing so much to help these boys!
You and E and the boys are in my prayers!
I've had experiences as a teacher with children with anger issues...they do lash out...they have so much built up..if anyone pays attention to them...watch out! That is good that you are having him evaluated and are getting him help. He needs it. He needs someone to show him how to manage that anger in an appropriate manner...instead of hitting...grab a stuffed animal and hug it...say "I'm mad"...etc, etc. I would take the child and put them in a quiet area and let them have their meltdown.
Sounds like you are learning what triggers the episodes too...as a teacher I had to learn that to try as much as I could to prevent the meltdowns. Iy takes a lot of work and patience to work with children who have so much anger. Praying for you!
You are so strong, whether you feel that way or not. And you are doing the right thing and those boys are better for having you in their lives. I'll pray God gives you the strength you need.
This is so difficult. I have one tiny piece of advice that will seem overly simple in all of this, but this is my field so I promise it isn't just a random person's thoughts. I would praise that child every time he is remotely doing something right or better than the day before. Hopefully praise will be motivating, but if not, it might be worth it to do a sticker chart or something where he can earn tv time or something he enjoys for getting ready in the morning etc. Just focus on one small goal at a time and make the expectations really super clear and stay consistent. Ignore the bad (as much as possible, but if not possible just make sure the bad-i.e. hitting, isn't effective and you teach him that asking nicely is-i.e. he might get an extra few minutes) and praise the good. That is my thoughts. I know, though, that is it so much more complex than this. If you want to email me to discuss specifics, I will support you as much as I can over email with thoughts and resources.
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