I haven't posted in forever because, honestly, I don't have too much to say that I haven't already said. The boys are still with us for now. We have begun to transition them back to their mom and visit times have increased and will be increasing more in September. Since they will both be in school come Tuesday visits will be happening on the weekends and will start to include some overnights. The expected date to move them home is mid-November. Their mom is hoping we will still see the boys. She says we have become a huge part of their life and leaving us will be hard for them. Well, duh! She is such a twit. She's worrying about how hard it will be for them to leave us but she didn't worry much about them when she left them. In case it isn't clear, I don't think too much of their mom. She's been working with a parent trainer and she still doesn't know what she should feed them or to put sunscreen on them. Sorry, but I don't think you can fix stupid.
I am bitter and angry and feeling hopeless. Everybody wants to know how I am and how I feel about the boys leaving in 10 weeks or so. How will I handle it? I will fall apart. I will lay in my bed and cry and curse and be more angry and bitter than I am now.But then, what will I do? I will get up out of that bed and move on. I still have my husband and my dogs and my house and my job and my family. I will pack up everything I have bought for children and I will take it to Goodwill. And, that will be the end of that. Another chance to be a mother down the tubes. Guess it just wasn't meant to be...
Long overdue final update (such a good one)!
3 months ago
19 comments:
You have often been in my thoughts. I hope and pray that you can find some comfort in this hard time. And no, you can't fix stupid.
Oh- sweetie. I wish I could reach over and give you a giant hug. Praying that you find peace at the end of this road.
:( Prayers for peace and that you feel His love.
I'm so sorry. Praying that your forever children will be right around the corner. And, praying for these sons of yours that their birth mother comes to deserve being entrusted with their precious souls.
I am so very sorry. I can imagine the pain you are feeling, those boys have been yours for so long now and you love them so much. PRaying for you...
I'm so sorry. :( I have been praying, and will keep doing so!
I'm really sorry to hear this. You are in my prayers through this ordeal, as are the boys. Praying for a miracle change in the mother, too. We were in court Monday regarding two of our kids, and I just don't know why some parents continue to act as they do and are given so many chances.
I'm so sorry. I continue to pray for your family and that your forever children will find their way home to you.
I just don't even know what to say. I am so sorry. Is there any chance you would want to stay in touch, just to be that one stabilizing, shining light in their lives? Or is that too much for you to bear (which I would understand)?
SO incredibly sorry about this.
This breaks my heart! I could hardly read it - and here you are LIVING it. I am so very sorry sweety...so very. Prayers are with you.
Oh M, I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. More prayers coming. Love you!
I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I wish that something I could say would bring you hope and peace... and I do have some things to say, but I fear that at this moment they would only bring you more sorrow, so I'll withhold.
Do know that there are many praying for you!
Thanks so much for all your comments. I just get whiny now and then so please bear with me. I will be fine but it just sucks just the same, ya know? Thanks again and I love you all!
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for all you've experienced.
You have every right to be whiny!! I am like that much of the time (I compose myself for blog posts... usually ;) )
All I was going to say was what I wrote on my blog- to USE this time of suffering to bring you closer to God. It's SO HARD, and many times all you want to do is pull away and "punish" Him for being (as we can often feel) unfaithful to our pleas. But He is there, so close to you in your suffering - closer than when you have none in your life.
Don't squander it :)
You are such an amazing couple. I'll be praying for you. I can't even IMAGINE how hard this would be. I wish I could do more to help!!!
This is very sad, but you won't be sad forever. That's what I tell myself.
Wishing you the best and know you've done/are doing God's work.
Lena
I have been away from the blogs for months and am just reading this now!
I am so sorry for your loss!
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