A little update

The meeting was postponed until today at 3. C's dad contacted E via FB and said he is trying to get C back. He thanked E for taking care of C and said he knows C is in a good home. They know each other via E's work. Dad was housed there at one time.

Mom's prelim is January 20th. No one has any idea how she'll plead so it may or may not go to trial. This weekend the magistrate had given her 15 days but the judge overturned that Monday and gave her 30 for her probation violation.

It sounds as if there are people stepping up to take the boys. Mom wants their step-dad to take them but that is where she will go when she is released. We'll just wait and see. It is all in the experts hands.

We took the boys out for dinner last night at our favorite restaurant. They were so good! These little guys just amaze me several times a day. I cannot imagine anyone ever wanting to hurt them or scare them or be mean to them. Seriously, they are a perfect first placement for us!

I'll keep you posted when we learn more. It sounds as if we'll have a home visit Thursday with our new foster care case worker. He is brand new to our agency and very excited his first case is a brand new set of foster parents!

Finding our rhythm

So yesterday morning while I was down here writing my post D was upstairs having a nose bleed. A pretty bad one, too. He was so calm about it all. I went in their room and C was awake, lying quietly on his bed. I started talking to him and started changing his diaper when D started to stir. I looked over at him when he sat up and my heart just sank. He noticed right away because the blood dripped on his arm and he said "I have a nose bleed". Just like that, all matter of fact. I grabbed some tissues and had him hold them on his nose while I finished C's diaper. Poor little D was a mess. I ended up calling my MIL because the bleeding wasn't stopping. She was an LPN and a para-pro at the ISD school. She said I was doing everything right, pinching his nose and having him breathe through his mouth. Finally it stopped. I was calm, cool and collected but inside I just wanted to cry!

He said he gets a lot of nose bleeds. After I got him all cleaned up and got them both dressed for the day and breakfast was on the table my hero arrived! My MIL was at the door. She stayed for several hours while I soaked all the bloody bedding and jammies and got the humidifiers going upstairs and down. I am hoping the dry air is what caused the nosebleed.

My MIL stayed until just after lunch and as she was getting ready to leave my mother came over. I am so blessed to have both of them! They played with the boys and read to them and just watched them and hung out while I was going laundry and making beds and all that work that needs to be done.

I feel like we are finding our rhythm. We'll see tomorrow when D goes to school and Wednesday morning when I am on my own getting all 3 of us ready. They were in bed last night by 8:20 and they were both asleep when I crawled into bed at 8:30. I just couldn't stay up any later. It worked out good because today I got up just after 4 and did some work, showered and was ready for work by 6. The rest of this morning will be devoted to the boys. I think I'll wake them at 7 so they get used to this schedule. E has the day off today so he's hanging with the boys. They are going to my MIL's while we meet with DHS.

E found out a bit more about their mom. Seems she dropped the kids off at one of her ex's and then went on a bender. She tried to kill herself by taking a whole bunch of pills and that combined with the alcohol put her in ICU for a few days. She went to jail on Saturday (the magistrate charged her with a parole violation) and she spent the weekend in the detox cell. E said she was a terrible pain in the u-know-what all day yesterday.

I don't know her record. I don't know how many times she has had her kids placed with CPS. I know she has 5 children with 4 different men. 3 of the children are with their father's or their father's family. C and D are with us because one of their father's hasn't been located (as of Friday) and the other father has a no-contact order. I don't think any of mom's family will step forward to take care of these boys. I remember when we were in high school Grandmother could not take care of her own kids so I doubt she's any better now.

I pray the boys get to stay with us. I pray for their mom that she can straighten herself out some. I really don't think she is in any shape to take her kids back. I know she has 15 days in jail but that could change. We'll know more today!

Adjusting to our new life

Thank you so much for all your comments! Life has turned a 180 on us and it is so awesome! If anything exciting happens or prayers are needed in our community please e-mail me. I have no time to read and I don't know when I will again.

The boys are both still asleep. The first night was a late one and they didn't get to bed until 11. They slept until 9. I know, 10 hours! Last night they were in bed just after 10 and it us just after 8 now. Another 10 hour night. I doubt this will last many more nights. I think they have been overwhelmed by their life so far and being in a warm, safe environment they are catching up on their lost sleep.

We are going to work their bedtimes back by an hour each day over the next few nights. My goal is to have them in bed by 7:30 or 8 because mornings are going to come awful early around these parts. D will need to get on the bus about 8:15 and then I will take C to my MIL's on my way to work. The bus picks up the neighbor boy and I see it every morning when I go out to start my car.

This is assuming they are still with us after tomorrow's permanency placement meeting. We meet at 3 at DHS with CPS and any interested parties they may have found. I highly doubt there will be any. We hope to be able to keep these boys for as long as we can. I am praying forever but prepared if that is not the case. We will do the best we can by them for the time they are with us.

Their aunt sent me a FB message yesterday asking if the boys we had were her nephews. We were friends in high school and became FB friends just a few weeks ago. She had seen my FB posting about fostering two boys ages 2 and 4. That matched her nephews ages and she knows where we live. She said she had found out yesterday her sister had her children removed from her care. (Mom is actually in jail but I didn't say anything. She is in E's facility.) Auntie went on to write that she cried her heart out when she found out the boys had been removed and she prayed to God that they would go to a good home. She cried tears of joy when she read my post. She knew it was God's way of reassuring her that her nephews were safe. She thanked me and thanked God. She wrote that I have no idea what those boys have been through. I'm not sure I want to know.

C has a sore on his right arm. It was a bit blistered and looked a little infected so Friday night after his bath I put some cream on it and a band-aid. He said his mommy hurt him. He said she burned him. He is 2. Where would that come from if it wasn't true? I wrote it down and I'll bring it up at tomorrow's meeting. My MIL changed his band-aid yesterday and he told her that mommy hurt him. He didn't tell her that she burned him just that mommy hurt him.

D hasn't really said anything. He hasn't mentioned mommy or anyone else in his life. he did tell me that he had 3 dogs at home but that one was missing. He couldn't remember their names. C cried at bedtime and nap time yesterday that he wanted to go home and that he missed his mommy. I just told him that mommy loves him and she misses him but that he is going to stay with us for a little bit. I keep reassuring these boys that they are wonderful little boys and that we love having them stay with us. I keep telling them that we have always wanted little boys just like them to come and stay with us. I don't know what else to say to them. Will that ease their troubled hearts?

They are outgoing little guys. D is a little pleaser. He tries to hard to do the right thing and his smile rarely leaves his face. C is the more dominant personality and is a bit more challenging and a bit of a daredevil, too. They play very well together and entertain each other. I have been working very hard to get this house in order with all the extra stuff and toys. Diapers and wipes, all that is so new to me. C is still in diapers but we are going to start working on potty training today. D wears pull-ups at night but he was dry Saturday morning.

Speaking of morning I had better get those 2 up. E is working so I am on my own today. My mom is coming up sometime today to meet the boys and I've got more laundry to do. If anything is wonky in this post forgive me. I am pretty tired and kind of spacey. I know it will get easier and honestly it hasn't been too bad!

There are children in my house!

This will be a real quick post to share my happy news with my prayer warrior women!

There are children in my house!! I got a call last night at 4:50 about an emergency placement. Two boys ages 2 and 4. Brothers. C is 2 and D is 4. They were at our house 2 hours later. I have never had such a whirlwind shopping trip through Wal.mart. I bought the bare necessities like pajamas and baby wash. I bought toothbrushes and booster seats. Holy cow.

It may be short term, it could be long term. We'll know more Monday at 3 when they hold the placement plan hearing. I'll let you know more when I have time. Right now the little buggers are still asleep. It was a late night last night and they were exhausted. Me, I hardly slept a wink! I still have so much to do. I still have all my Christmas decorations up for Pete's sake!

Thank you for all your prayers! They truly work!

I'm not listening

I sent an email to our caseworker Wednesday inquiring about actively fostering infants and toddlers. It seems to us that the people adopting through our agency are fostering the kids first and then choosing to adopt them. We have had 5 referrals and have not met a single child. In 4 of the referrals the foster parents have decided to adopt. The other one had grandparents choose to parent. Our caseworker forwarded my mail to the agency foster licenser and his response was not real positive. One of his issues with us fostering through our agency is that they are based an hour away and we would be responsible for transporting the child to parent visitation. He also stressed that the goal for fostering is reunification not adoption. He made it sound like we cannot do both fostering and adopting through our agency.

He didn't answer the other question I had asked. Is it possible for us to continue the adoption process through our agency but foster through our local DHS? We have to do something. This sitting around and waiting is driving us crazy. E stopped in at our local DHS office today. He told the receptionist what we wanted to do and she had him fill out a form. She said she'd give it to a social worker. And now we wait some more. Our local office retired 5 social workers at the end of the year and they are not hiring any more at this time. They are hiring one clerk. Can you say case overload?

What good is that foster license hanging on the wall just 4 feet away? What good is that bedroom all set and ready and empty upstairs? In the attic I have an empty crib, an empty toddler bed, an empty twin bed. We have the space. We have the hearts. We have the love and security and stability to give these kids a safe place even for a little while. Let's put it to good use!

I am so frustrated by this process. Every night I see commercials on TV about fostering and adopting waiting children. I just roll my eyes. This is not happening the way I expected it to but what does in this day and age? We're now past the 9 month mark. Paper pregnant with no due date.

I am trying so hard to trust God in all this. I keep thinking to myself that the child he has chosen for us is not ready for us yet. I keep telling myself that. My family keeps telling me that. My credit union members keep telling me that. So far, I am not listening!

You won't believe it

Well, maybe you will. I seem to have the worst luck. And my bad days are really bad.
Today was pretty rough.
But, you gals just get it! You feel what I feel. Wait until you read this:

E sent me a text on lunch saying "our kids" were off the site. He thought it was because we had been matched with them. I had to break it to him that it meant the kids were matched with someone else. I told him we have to actually meet the kids before we are considered for adoption. He got it then. The foster parents have decided to adopt. Sigh. How nice that we find out from seeing the children removed from the list rather than our caseworker, who we have not heard from in almost a month.

Then, I get back from lunch and hear the girls all talking. From the gist of their conversation I deduce that our new coworker is pregnant. Great. I now work with 3 pregnant women. Please, just shoot me now! One is due the end of February, the next is due mid March and the new one is due in June. Yay...lucky me. Keep in mind, there are only 7 employees in our office. Two have had hysterectomies, 3 are pregnant, 1 just graduated high school and then there is me. The infertile one. The one that gets to hear all day long from our members, "be careful...it might be contagious, har,har". Yuck, yuck. I want to punch someone.

Just for Leila.....

Here's an update. Nothing. Temp is up, down, up, down. I don't think I am pregnant. I may have miscarried or I may be very wonky this month. Like I said, it's in God's hands. I am not thinking about it and whatever happens happens.

E is feeling better although he took yesterday off too. Last night was the first night he was able to stay in bed. I am so glad he was able to sleep in bed because I slept in our one recliner. I kept coughing and coughing and could not lay down. I caught a cold. Thank goodness, I don't have what he had!

John made it home on New Year's Eve. They still have not figured out what caused the seizures. He is off work for awhile and will not be able to drive for 6 months. He is on anti-seizure medication and will be having more tests done. It's just a weird thing. He is so lucky he was not driving when it happened. He said he pulled into his parking spot, put the truck in park and got a blinding pain across his forehead. He got out of the truck and that's the last he remembers.

I am hoping to hear from our agency this week. The foster family was going to make their decision after the holidays whether they are going to adopt the 2 children we have been picked for. I haven't heard from our CW since December 6th when she told be that the birth mother was going to parent and that we had been picked for the boy and girl. We'll see if I hear anything.

I'm waiting for the "big changes" to take place at work. I have decided to stick it out at the credit union. I honestly love what I do and I have too much time invested to give it up now. We are starting a mortgage program early this year and I need the experience and training that will be offered. A senior loan officer with mortgage lending experience? Now, that's what I'm talking about! Then I would feel better about leaving for a financial institution that has their lending officers in an office full time and not squeezing loan work in between cashing paychecks. But, I digress.

Speaking of work, I had better get ready. We have our temporary teller starting today. She'll be working to cover the 2 maternity leaves in late February, March and April. Thank goodness, I don't have to train her. Tummy-rubbing mommy is going to be doing the training. That will keep her occupied and keep her out of my space.