A lot to say, sorry!

Sorry this is so long! Not that I think any of you will be here to read it, LOL! I bet you've all given up on me!

I am still here, yes I am! Busy as can be and trying to stay sane! I miss having time to read and comment on your posts. I scan the blog roll to see what's up and sometimes I have time to read your posts. I didn't even know Sew went private until yesterday for cripes sakes!

We are still taking care of these boys. We had our first visit to ER in the middle of the night two weeks ago. Both of the boys had cold-like symptoms but no fever. We were doctoring them with toddler cold medicine, vicks, a humidifier and extra pillows. Little Boo Boo's cough and congestion kept getting worse and worse and on Wednesday night he was coughing and vomited up phlegm. Nice visual, I know, but that was enough! E loaded him in the truck and off to ER they went. Come to find out he had ear infection and bronchitis. Mother of the year, right here. I completely missed it but he had no complaints about his ear. And they had only been sick for a couple of days. E took Yogi to the doctor the next day and, sure enough, he had ear infection too. So they both had a round of antibiotics and are doing much better now.

They had their first visit with their dads three Fridays ago. It went good except for the fact one daddy brought gifts and the other did not. Of course, it was the little one, Boo Boo, that didn't get a gift. Try explaining that to a 2 year old. We ended up heading to the store the next day to get the exact same toy for Boo Boo.

They also had a visit with their mom last Monday. We had some regression from the eldest, Yogi, which I believe was due to that visit. Regression, as in he went to a place he has never been in the time he's been with us. As in wetting, open defiance, fighting to get him to bed at night, fighting to get him up in the morning, fighting at meals, getting in the car, getting on the school bus.....etc, etc. Yesterday he was in the time-out chair 4 times. 4 times! That is a new record for this house. I feel like all day is a constant battle. He hasn't been napping so we try to get them in bed at 7:30. Last night it was closer to eight because we watched a movie. He would not settle down. He gets physical now when he doesn't want to do something. Physical as in kicking and hitting. I wrested him into his pull-up and jammies. Couldn't get close enough to kiss him good night. Then he started kicking the mattress and saying he would not sleep. Rather than telling him to stop, which would never work, I grabbed my phone and sat on the floor reading my book and cheering him on. Telling him to kick harder, faster, don't stop! It lasted about 20 minutes and it wasn't as fun with me cheering him on. He said he didn't want to do it anymore and in 10 minutes he was asleep. Yelling doesn't work. Taking away toys and favorite cartoons doesn't work. I am figuring out little by little what does and doesn't work. It's all trial and error.

What bugs me the most in that little brother, who is a pretty good little boy, emulates big brother's behavior. When he sees big brother become belligerent, and believe me, a 4 year-old can be belligerent, he becomes belligerent. Last night he decided kicking the mattress and telling me he wouldn't go to sleep was fun, too. He only kicked for a couple of minutes but it got him wound up enough that he was awake until after nine. This is so much fun! Not. I got our foster training manual out this morning. It's actually a 3-inch binder. I am hoping I will find some practical advice to get us through these major bumps. I am also starting a notebook on both of the boys. I am going to journal every days activities. Keep track of everything and try to document a pattern. I should have done this from the start but I just didn't think of it. Everything happened so darn fast. I don't have time to do this journal but I have to make time. Even if it means staying up half an hour later at night.

They are now going to see Mom every Monday for 1 1/2 hours. They are going to see Dad every other Saturday for 4 hours. That will start next Saturday. They are going to see 2 of their siblings when they see Mom. We are trying to work out a visit time with their middle brother sometime but so far it hasn't happened. I know with each visit things will get worse. I am preparing for it. I am hoping after a few weeks of this visit schedule things will start to improve. That is what I am praying for.

This has been hard, so very hard. I knew it would be but I had no idea of the level of difficulty we would face. I am dealing with attitudes and behaviors I have never seen in my life. And that's just talking about the kids. Don't get me started on the mother and the 4 fathers. My life as I knew it is wiped off the map. I started this post on the 11th and here I am actually posting it over a week later.

I don't know where this placement is going. We had a prelim on Thursday and Mom has decided to take it to trial. I am not sure if it will be a bench trial or a full-jury trial. Either way, her rights could be terminated. We should find out this next week when the trial will be. The fathers are trying to get custody of the boys. I know Boo Boo's dad has had a home visit by the state's social worker. I am not sure about Yogi's dad. He was in a half-way house but was trying to find permanent housing. Our prosecutor does not want the boys with their dads. He prosecuted Boo-Boo's dad's case a few years ago and I think he is holding a bit of a grudge. He openly admits he doesn't have much use for either of the fathers.

So for now our lives, and the boys lives, are in limbo. I hate how the kids have to see their parents whether it will hurt them or not. It takes several days for us to gain back our footing and then they go for a visit and slip right down again. I am so wishing that I wasn't working or I could at least reduce my hours. I can't do that right now because of two pregnant girls. The one had her last day Friday. She's due on the 26th but she's dilated to 3 and I don't know what percentage effaced(sp). She'll be having that baby any day. The second girl is due March 10th but she plans on working right up until she goes into full-on labor. So I cannot leave my office in a lurch right now.

Sorry this is so long! Not that I think any of you will be here to read it, LOL! I bet you've all given up on me!