I am going through a heart-wrenching time right now. A couple very, very close to me are going through some major difficulties in their marriage. Since none of my family knows about this blog I might as well fess up. It is my brother, the brother I raised and guided and led through his teen years, his twenties and now into his thirties. I am at a loss as to what to do. I really think there is something seriously wrong with him mentally. My SIL asked me to come up tonight and talk with them. I sat there with the two of them at their dining room table and listened to them talk about their problems. I don't know how to help.
Lately my brother has not been my brother. He talked tonight of how unhappy he is. How he constantly thinks about death. How he thinks terrible things. How he wakes up in the night and sees nothing but blackness. I am thinking he may be bipolar. They started marriage counseling Monday night but I really think he needs more help. He talked about how he has never been happy and is never satisfied with what he has in life. I am seriously scared for my brother's life. I cannot think, I cannot function. I am sure this post is a rambling jumble of thoughts. As I was leaving I asked my brother not to give up. To try the counseling, to see a psychiatrist. If they suggested a medication, to please, please try. I don't think he will. I am afraid he will just walk away from his life.
I am praying to God for an answer. For a way to help him. I am going to be 36 on Friday. I have lost my dad, my grandpa, my baby and this is the most helpless I have ever felt in my life. Please, God, help my brother. Please help him find the light, find some peace, find you. Guide him through this time. Please don't do it for me or his wife or his daughter or step-daughter. Please help by brother.
Long overdue final update (such a good one)!
3 months ago
5 comments:
Oh my, I will pray. From what you describe, I won't be surprised if it was depression. Especially given the weather this time of year and all the grayness, I think it can impact people more than they think. My mom struggles with depression and the winter is the worst, but she has been helped by medication - I think paxil or prozac...I am not sure. But regardless, I think you made a good recommendation to have him get that checked out. Marriage counseling is definitely a good thing, but if the underlying problem is potentially a chemical inbalance, then treatment might alleviate that suffering (or at least help him cope better). I am sorry, I too am rambling...
Also, I keep forgetting to send you the gift card, but I promise to do so tomorrow. I am sorry for the delay. Happy early birthday! I hope you get a ray of sunshine - both literally in terms of the weather and figuratively in regards to your brother. I will be praying for your family! Hang in there, you are a great sister! God Bless!
Thank you so much! I need all the prayers I can get.
He called me last night after I posted and he said he will not be seeking help. His wife was packing a few things to go stay at her parents for a few days. I really don't know what I can do to help him. I am praying and praying for an answer. How do you force a 33 year old to seek help? You can't. He has to realize on his own. My heart is hurting.
Happy Birthday! Sorry this is kind of late! ;) I hope you had a great one! God Bless!
You are right...your brother has to seek his own help..otherwise it won't work. Sounds like he does need that professional help..could be depression or something more. Do you know anyone else who is close to him who can help him see that he needs help? Is he still going to work? and doing every day functions? I know his marriage is suffering and that is not helping him at all...could be causing more anxiety. Is there a priest, local resource center or ask your own dr, for help in assisting your brother. THey might be able to steer you in the right direction. I hope this helpful info. I can see you care deeply for your brother.
My own brother is going through a divorce..well..soon. Him and his wife have been separated for over a year now. It's been tough but my brother won't let her beat him down. He's working hard and keeping busy...however...he's not fully dealing with the problems either. Long story..however two little boys look up to him..and if she gets her way..and he don't get on the ball..he may lose his children.
I will pray for your brother and his family.
Thanks for your prayers! Pray for me, too, because this is going to be tough!
My brother told me yesterday that he cannot deal with his issues until he and his wife's issues are settled. He had not said divorce yet but she has. He is still going to work and taking care of things normally. He said it was so nice to come home Friday and put his feet up after working all day. His wife would never let him do that. She has some issues, too. Major control issues. I just don't know! I'll be there for both of them because I love them both very much.
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