I'm not listening

I sent an email to our caseworker Wednesday inquiring about actively fostering infants and toddlers. It seems to us that the people adopting through our agency are fostering the kids first and then choosing to adopt them. We have had 5 referrals and have not met a single child. In 4 of the referrals the foster parents have decided to adopt. The other one had grandparents choose to parent. Our caseworker forwarded my mail to the agency foster licenser and his response was not real positive. One of his issues with us fostering through our agency is that they are based an hour away and we would be responsible for transporting the child to parent visitation. He also stressed that the goal for fostering is reunification not adoption. He made it sound like we cannot do both fostering and adopting through our agency.

He didn't answer the other question I had asked. Is it possible for us to continue the adoption process through our agency but foster through our local DHS? We have to do something. This sitting around and waiting is driving us crazy. E stopped in at our local DHS office today. He told the receptionist what we wanted to do and she had him fill out a form. She said she'd give it to a social worker. And now we wait some more. Our local office retired 5 social workers at the end of the year and they are not hiring any more at this time. They are hiring one clerk. Can you say case overload?

What good is that foster license hanging on the wall just 4 feet away? What good is that bedroom all set and ready and empty upstairs? In the attic I have an empty crib, an empty toddler bed, an empty twin bed. We have the space. We have the hearts. We have the love and security and stability to give these kids a safe place even for a little while. Let's put it to good use!

I am so frustrated by this process. Every night I see commercials on TV about fostering and adopting waiting children. I just roll my eyes. This is not happening the way I expected it to but what does in this day and age? We're now past the 9 month mark. Paper pregnant with no due date.

I am trying so hard to trust God in all this. I keep thinking to myself that the child he has chosen for us is not ready for us yet. I keep telling myself that. My family keeps telling me that. My credit union members keep telling me that. So far, I am not listening!